putting myself back out there
My life is about to no longer be my own. It’s nothing morose or overly dramatic, but really about the fact that next week I go back to full-time employment.
I know…in this market, tough problem to have.
But it’s been 15 months since I last “punched a time clock” and worked 40 hours a week on someone else’s schedule. Who’s going to run to the grocery store when we need bread or veggies? How can I run by Costco just to walk around and dream? I know those things are still possibilities. Only now, they’ll be more of a “stop by on the way home from the office” or “I’ll be right back, gotta run an errand on my lunch break.”
Just typing that feels….weird. But I’ll get used to it. And in reality, I’m VERY excited to get back out there. I’m ready to interact with smart, talented, creative people. I’m ready to slay any creative project that crosses my path. I’m ready to see a regular paycheck (beyond unemployment) get deposited into my bank account and hopefully stop the bleeding.
But most important, I’m ready to start challenging myself to grow in a new direction, picking up new (marketable) skills that will extend my creative writing experience into a whole new realm. I’m ready to be a sponge, and take advantage of every encounter, every new scenario, and stockpile this newfound skill set into something that will put me in an advantageous position should I ever find myself on the receiving end of a pink slip again. (It only happened twice within 9 months…..15 months ago.)
This time is going to be different. Unlike my last job, where I had to spend countless hours convincing myself that the position I was offered was “right” and “good” and “marketable.” This job is one that I’ve been cultivating for the past year. I just didn’t know it. It took the wisdom (and different point of view) of my partner in life and crime to recognize it. And the results just show that it was meant to be. It really feels right…..right down to my core.
At least for now. And that’s just what I’m holding onto….the now. I have to focus my energy on making today great. Even if I don’t have the flexibility or freedom to do whatever whim the now presents.